Wednesday, March 16, 2011

this is why PETA was created...

animal abuse of the most egregious kind: teasing your cat with lettuce.

my first pet. and according to many of my friends, my last.

strangely, she loved lettuce. and i kept feeding it to her until her owner said that he found strange green stringy objects in the litter.

to the love of my life!

Monday, March 14, 2011

ode to ottawa u

Sing along; this song is incredibly fun to sing.

There's a hole in the city and its name is Ottawa U 
And if you're dull and boring than its the place for you 
And if you're into concrete and ugly buildings too 
Then welcome to Ottawa U 
Fuck you, Ottawa U 
Fuck you, Ottawa U 
en Francais Fuckais vous 
Fuck you Ottawa U 
What the fucks a Gee Gee? 
What the fucks a Gee Gee? 
What the fucks a Gee Gee?

Sunday, March 13, 2011

under the sea, darling its better, down where its wetter, take it from meeee

 i just read something that blew my mind. anglerfish, which are REALLY ugly (and not even lady-gaga-ugly but sarah-jessica-parker-ugly), live miles underneath the ocean. strangely, scientists have only found female anglerfish but they seemingly always have a parasite attached to them. it turns out that the parasite is the male fish.

The suga-momma.

once the female fish is ready, who are like 10 times the size of the male fish by the way, the males goes and starts biting the female (much like i do with my females, just kidding). after two weeks, he finally takes hold and they become attached for life (which is unlike me). in this symbiotic relationship, the males is permanently dependent on the female for food, in the form of her blood. 

males' entire lives are devoted to finding a mate. the males, who are MUCH smaller than the female, have trouble finding food independently so they need the females to live.

The deadbeat boyfriend.

and the two become so fused with each other that the male actually loses his organs and, as the spice girls say, two becomes one. he loses his eyes, probably because she doesnt want him to look at another woman, and then he loses his brain, which is what girls typically do to guys. finally, he loses his heart to her, which culminates this relationship which can be strangely interpreted as romantic in some sick way... all that's left is a pair of gonads. anyways, all of this, reminds me so much of my relationships that im a bit disturbed. im an anglerfish. if only i were under the sea.

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